Aren’t we all this tired?

“Aren’t we all this tired?” my friend asked. This gorgeous, fabulously-accomplished friend of mine works full-time, has children playing elite sports, and volunteers at school, church, and in her community… and she’s tired.

Her question got me thinking: Is this level of tiredness normal and to be accepted? Or is there more going on here?

To a certain extent, we’re all tired because we’re grown-ups with responsibilities. But what about this incredible exhaustion we feel? Friends, our hearts are under attack, and it’s about time that we start talking about it.

Our hearts are under attack from the expectations we put on ourselves.

We feel like we’re not enough, so we add things to our schedule that we believe will make us feel good enough. We expect ourselves to keep up, keep going, stay ahead, stay afloat, plan for retirement, lose weight, never say “no,” jam another activity in, do a better job of ____, and post gorgeous photos and clever thoughts online. (Fervent by Priscilla Shirer)

Our hearts are under attack from perfectionism, idolatry, and fear.

Some of us fall into the trap of perfectionism because we derive our value from our achievements. We cling to control, so we demand things happen our way.

Others of us have turned our bodies, children, and accomplishments into idols. We’re so busy exercising, shuttling around, and outshining others that we don’t have time to meet with God. Some of us are operating out of muscle memory: we’re so used to being bossed and bullied by expectations that we don’t know how to be free.

All of these things come down to fear. As Priscilla Shirer writes in Fervent, “Fear that we won’t have enough. Fear that we won’t be enough. Fear that we’ll fail and will no longer come off looking as perfect as we want to appear. Fear that somebody else who’s working harder and moving faster will get what was supposed to be ours.”

And lastly, our hearts are under attack because we have an enemy.

We have an enemy who wants us busy, distracted, overwhelmed, jealous, and not at all focused on our calling.

Shirer writes, “Satan’s ploy is to make you believe your core value as a person is tied to how much work you do, how much activity you can accomplish, how much stuff you can accumulate, how much business you can generate.”

But Jesus uses an entirely different system than our enemy.

Our enemy wants to enslave us to expectations. He wants us to be enslaved by our calendars, body image, and appearance of togetherness. Shirer writes, “Nothing is so healthy and life-giving that our enemy can’t turn it into a cruel taskmaster, one that bosses you around and runs your life.”

But Jesus came to set us free. God’s track record is to free slaves, and He’s been doing it since the days of the Pyramids. Still today, Jesus doesn’t want His people enslaved by expectations, pressure, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or busyness. He came to set the captives free.

Our enemy wants us continually proving our worth. Achievers, those of us who lean more on self and less on the God of amazing grace, believe that worth is earned—not given. This belief drives us to hustle to measure up… so who’s the one telling us that we need to measure up in the first place? Our enemy.

But Jesus says we stand on grace. Grace is grasping that we already have the love, worth, joy, and peace that we’ve been striving for. Grace understands our humanity and comes alongside us to help. Grace is a free gift that comes with our already-purchased salvation.

Our enemy wants us to believe in a rules-based points-system that says, if we make the right decisions, do good things, raise our children perfectly, and look a certain way, then maybe God might like us. This system is based on working hard to earn the outcome we desire. That’s karma—God doesn’t do karma.

But Jesus came to proclaim the good news, that reports what’s already been done: “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” The exact moment we feel imperfect, unlovable, and unnecessary is the exact moment His grace meets us. There’s no earning, just receiving the free gift of salvation.

So in real-life, what do we do with the pressure and exhaustion we feel?

We should expect some tiredness if we’re living meaningful lives, but when we feel enslaved by expectations, pushed around by fear, or believe that we have to earn our worth, our enemy has a hold on us. Our enemy knows we’re kind of a big deal to God and the people in our lives. He knows we’re on the verge of kingdom-altering work and that our faith is growing as we love others and enjoy God…and he hates it.

The most effective weapons we have against the enemy are prayer and steeping ourselves in God’s Word. Let’s talk to God about what’s going on in our hearts. Let’s remind ourselves of the truth.

We’re allowed to be tired. When we’re like my friend: when we’re doing good things, looking to make a difference, and raising kids of course our bodies are going to be tired. But let’s resolve to not be tired because of expectations, of perfectionism or idolatry or fear, or from giving into the enemy’s attacks on our schedules. Instead, if we’re going to be tired, let’s be tired because of all the good we’re doing.