“Everything is needful that He sends; nothing can be needful that He withholds.” – John Newton
Newton had it right: God gave you what you needed and protected you from what you didn’t this year. And as I reflect on the past 365 days, a few things have become clear.
Friends, here’s what worked for me this year, what didn’t, and what’s next. Plus seven gentle questions to help you evaluate your year.
What Worked
Giving thanks in all things.
This year landed me in the hospital and at the graveside of our 12-year-old lab. These were hard things, but they revealed to me the importance of giving thanks in all things.
I was grateful to be in the hospital because it gave me clarity on what was really important—my people, the ones who sometimes get less of me than I’d like. And I was grateful for my daily vacuuming sessions because it meant that ever-shedding Bela was still with us.
1. What can you give thanks for today even if it doesn’t seem ideal?
Choosing my absence.
“The biggest deception of our digital age may be the lie that says we can be omni-competent, omni-informed, and omni-present. We cannot be any of these things. We must choose our absence, our inability, and our ignorance,” wrote Kevin DeYoung in Crazy Busy
.
In October, I melted down about the fact that I couldn’t do all the best practices of successful bloggers and “Good Moms.” My soul was squashed, and my rhythm unsustainable. Since then, I’ve chosen my absence: I won’t be on every social media platform, follow every best practice, or volunteer for every thing.
2. Where will you choose to be absent next year?
Letting go of service that felt like martyrdom.
In the past, I believed that serving meant martyrdom, suffering, disregarding my needs, and taking one for the team. I mean, if I really cared about church, people knowing Jesus, and homeless pets, I’d do more, try harder, and always be available… right?
This year, I was reminded that service means joy and overflowing love, never obligation. I don’t have to do All The Things. I simply follow my Shepherd who shows me what’s next.
3. What service has become martyrdom for you? What will you do about it?
Being Jill.
I’m in love with Instagram feeds that are white, black, pink and gold. I love simple, clean lines. I love blogs with signatures as the headers, and people pontificating about wearing yoga pants. Prosaic, reflective, and soul-honoring writing grabs my heart.
But I’m not any of those things.
I’m blues, greens, and oranges. I’m wood and grass. My fonts are bold and structured. I wear jeans. I write how-to’s and what-to-do’s. While I love reflection and encouragement, I just don’t know what to do with my hands. And I want you to have practical steps on how to live out a grace-filled life.
4. What parts of you do you need to whole-heartedly embrace?
What Didn’t Work
My podcast idea.
This summer, I wanted to start a podcast. Ryan and I talked and prayed about it. I decided that, as much as I love you and the idea of being in your earbuds, it was a no go.
Wayne Muller writes in A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough
, “…we must be willing to listen with the ear of the heart to the timing of things, to let go of any plan or requirement that does not feel in this moment authentically ripe or ready.” The podcast idea was great, but not ripe or ready.
5. What plan do you have that just isn’t ready yet?
Running… literally, running.
I’ve loved running since third grade P.E. Being outside, hearing my breath, and pounding the pavement make me so happy. But this year, my body said no thank you, so I’ve walked instead.
Walking makes me feel like a slacker… or like I’m 85. Running is more impressive and harder to do. But running didn’t feel right while walking did, so walking is what I chose.
6. What is your body telling you that you need to listen to?
Doing without caring for my soul.
One revelation from my October meltdown was that I was so busy doing that I wasn’t paying any attention to my soul. God created us to do and rest. When the scale tips too far one way, it’s time to recalibrate.
Achieving and serving are good, but so are soul care and compassion. Neglecting one aspect of who we are impacts the whole of who we are.
7. Are you skewed toward doing or toward resting? How can you tip the scales so you’re in balance?
What’s Next
Here’s what I know: I’m going to keep writing content that helps try-hard girls. Other than that? I have no idea.
I don’t have a master plan for next year. Will I start a podcast? No clue. Will I book more speaking engagements? I hope so, but I’m not in charge of that.
I love what Muller says, “We cannot draw the shape our lives will take, predict its future, or control its outcome. But we can, when we awake in the morning, live this one, sacred, miraculous day.”
Let’s make this next year the year we live one, sacred, miraculous day at a time by reflecting on what worked for us (and what didn’t) this year. Let’s trust that God is in control, try-hard girls, so we don’t need to be. As we close out our year, let’s remember…
Everything is needful that He sends; nothing can be needful that He withholds.
I laughed at the ‘85’ comment! I’m not yet 80, but these years are passing so quickly, it’s coming…soon! And that was my thought this year. Mortality and change. Losing my sister and several dear friends. My dear husband. And how much I’ve had to ‘edit’ my life and activities. And how prone I am to self pity instead of being in a constant state of praise for the blessings He has given. Family, old friends, new friends wonderful neighbors. Gold Ribbon Rescue which gives me opportunities to hug Golden’s now that mine have passed. Church…actually two churches where I know I’m loved. I returned to the church near my home, but friends have remained friends and when I visit my other church, I am greeted with smiles and hugs. And I can still sing: choirs, Singing Women, Senior choir, Sanctuary choir! An abundance of blessings. Perhaps my life transition will be used to help others who get bogged down at times. Because the Holy Spirit doesn’t let you stay there. The best blessing of all. It’s still Christmas time and also time for love and wishes for a blessed and joyful New Year!
As to vote. I will enjoy reading your blog as often as you choose to write. No pressure, at all!😍
Shirley, what a gift and testimony you are to all of us! That despite all your losses that you have listed blessing after blessing of God’s provision for you. Jesus is just so crazy about you that He provided dogs to hug, two churches who show you great love, friends, a voice to praise Him, the Holy Spirit who is with you every breath, and great neighbors! Thank you for your kind words about my writing. God has given me the gift of a reader named Shirley. I am also beyond blessed! -jill
Hi Jill – Although I have found you very recently, I really appreciate your down-to-earth way of sharing your faith in relation to life and our walk with the Lord. They are a blessing. As above I look forward to reading your blog as you are able to share.
Joyce, Thank you for reading and for being so kind. God has good good plans for you in 2018. It’ll be exciting to see where He leads you! -jill
I am very touched by the quote you used, “God gave you what you needed and protected you from what you didn’t this year. ”
So true. There were things I hoped for that God did not give, but in his mercy he is using all things to mold me more into the woman he designed and created me to be.
I also really love the idea of reflecting on our year with gratitude and with gentleness. Thank you so much for sharing this, Jill!
I had some health issues this year where God was pretty much leaving me in a space where I had needs and where I sometimes needed the help of others. It was humbling to have to ask for help and painful to be so aware of my own needs at all. I would much rather focus on the needs of others and help them out than be in touch with my own hurts and needs and feelings. BUT, God in his grace and mercy is teaching me about my own needs and that it is okay to have them.
Kellsey- Oh Amen and Amen to everything you said! It is so incredibly hard to be the receiver of kindness rather than the giver. Sometimes it’s hard to even articulate what those needs are! I am so sad to hear that you had those health issues, but grateful that God used them to mold you more and more into the image of His Son AND that He gave you the grace to see how He’s been with you every step of the way. You are so right: God is merciful and gracious in how He works for us and in us! -jill