When you grow up in Houston, you joke that there are two seasons: hot and hotter. It wasn’t until we moved to Arkansas that I understood that seasons weren’t just for wall calendars. Trees really do change color, apples are most crisp in the fall, snow falls in the winter, and the spring is always chillier than I think it should be.
As an Achiever, who who leans more on herself and less on the God of amazing grace, I label consistency good and change bad. I never grasped seasonal changes so when the seasons of my life changed, I desperately wanted to keep everything the same. I want to live in the same city with the same friends and the same job and routine. Everything should stay the same… all the time.
Change is Scary
Change is scary because I:
don’t know the end result
feel out of control
don’t trust the One who is making the change
1. Not knowing the end result
I only like change that I initiate. In fact, I would rather hold on to the mediocre known than open my white-knuckled fist to try something new. If I like spring flowers, why give that up for the heat of summer?
New seasons can be terrifying. I’d rather forge ahead with the same old than dive into the adventure of the unknown. I prefer my safe, familiar and comfortable life to the unpredictability and freedom of life with my Jesus.
2. Feeling out of control
I get scared of the unpredictable, more-than-I-could-ask-or-imagine ways of God. John recorded that Jesus describes those who are born of the Spirit as being like the wind: blowing without knowing much about where it’s been or where it’s going. (John 3:8)
What I really want, if I’m raw and real, is a less windy, uncontrollable-God and more of a blow-dryer God. I want something I can use whenever I need it. I want complete control over the object, the direction, the heat level, and the speed.
But that’s not who God says He is. He never says He’ll grant every wish, keep things status quo, give me plans for my approval, or do things in the manner and timing that I find most convenient. What He does say is that His character is unchanging, but that’s it. God is the only thing that doesn’t change.
I want the same season over and over because I know it and feel more in charge. I don’t like change, and I have a God who does.
3. Not trusting the One
When I am resistant to change, it points to the fact that I believe I should create the end result and should always be in charge. This means that I want to be the god of my own kingdom. I don’t trust that God knows me or my situation, and that He has a good plan. When I resist change, I am showing my distrust of the lover of my soul and the author of my story.
So what do I do?
This is when I need my faith to anchor me. When I get fearful of change, I remember that:
- Jesus loves this change-fearer so much that He died for me.
- He fully knows me. God knows all of my mistakes, my hurt spots, my broken angles, and my messy thought patterns.
- God’s guiding worldview toward me is one of deep, compassionate affection (thank you Curt Thompson in Anatomy of the Soul).
- His goal is restoration of all my hurts, and that in change, healing comes.
- And, craziest of all, any change He instigates will be worked for His glory and my good and growth.
God changes the seasons and He changes me. Why? To make things new, to restore, and to make them beautiful in their time. He makes the snow, the lilies, the sunshine, and the green-leaves-turned-red. And He makes changes in my life, both external and internal change.
So when the seasons change, I remember that God is with me. When I come to Him, arms outstretched, He doesn’t lecture me about change. He doesn’t get disappointed when I don’t understand. He is just with me.
He gives Himself, and that my friends, is all I need and is more than enough.
