For quite some time, my life was shaped much more by fear than it was by resting in Jesus.

With our second child, I took a very hardline approach to losing the baby weight. I ate 1,000 calories a day, and worked out seven days a week. I did all this while caring for a husband, newborn, and a 17-month old, plus working a full-time job.

I had to lose the weight for a few reasons:
1. I had set the goal.
2. Being “skinny” was a part of my identity and I had to reclaim that identity.
3. It was a challenge, and as an Achiever, I never backed away from a challenge.

I still can’t explain what came over me, but what I do know is that I was an Achiever, a do-er, and a winner. The proof would be in the pudding although I wasn’t eating any pudding. Or carbs. Or prepackaged food.

So I lost the weight out of fear: fear of not achieving a set goal, fear of a loss of identity, fear of a challenge beating me.

I wonder if you’re like me and you act out of fear even when you wouldn’t name it fear. Maybe you act out of expectations that have been placed on you by yourself or others. Maybe you act out of a desire for a certain reputation, title, or responsibility.

What Jesus Says about Fear

Fear does what only fear can do. It pushes us around, bullies us, beats us into submission, and robs us of peace. Remember what Jesus said about fear?
1. Fear is cast out by love. (1 John 4:18)
2. Fear is to be cast to Him. (1 Peter 5:7)

Jesus didn’t intend for any of us to hold onto fear or give it the time of day. Instead, He wants us to feel His care and to be overwhelmed by His love for us.

So when an Achiever reads that, she thinks, “Okay, well now I just need to pull up my boot straps and really work on being less fearful and more loved.” But that’s not what Jesus calls us to. Jesus says that He brings us peace, that He delivers us, and that He comforts.

None of us likes being pushed around by fear, by expectations, by selfish desires. We want to stop fearing and we want to start resting. We just don’t know how.

We can’t Achieve our way into living God’s way, but there are a few things we can do when fear pushes us.

What Jesus Says about Rest

Yes, I was fearful I wouldn’t achieve the goal of losing the baby weight and I was fearful of losing my identity, but I also believed something else: I was unworthy of rest. I didn’t allow myself to relax. I was on a mission that I desperately wanted to abort.

Here are the generous ways that God wants to lead you:

  • He is the one with the light yoke, but you must be willing to take off the grindstone and replace it with grace.
  • He takes our exhaustion and replaces it with ease.
  • He knows that when we lean on our selves we bear too much weight. He wants us to lean on Him, the Rock, because the Rock can bear the weight of all you are.

 

To stop fearing and start resting, we must allow Him to give us His light yoke. We must give Him our exhaustion. We must lean on Him. Remember that our God is gentle and He never forces His yoke, His ease, His strength on us. We must come to Him first then He’ll lead. He can’t lead us if we aren’t willing to follow.

For months and years we strive out of fear while we secretly are starving for rest. So how do I know when it’s okay to rest? I know that it’s not you, it’s not me, it’s not that Norwegian Olympic judge. So who tells me that I am good enough to rest? That the striving can cease? That the work has been finished?

Jesus does and His word is the only one that matters.

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