Why you think you’re never enough

I don’t want y’all to be jealous, but in the fall of 1993, I was crowned “Klein High School Band Sweetheart.” I got a sash, a jewelry box, and half-time recognition on the 50-yard line.

At 17, being named Band Sweetheart showed that I was liked and I was enough. And at 40, what I crave doesn’t come with a sash, but the need remains: I want to be liked and to be enough.

We wonder if we have anything to offer, who might want to be our friend or what we’re good at. We wonder if we’ll ever be as good at parenting or loving or working as the woman sitting next to us.

Which makes sense because our enemy wants us wrapped up… in ourselves.

Women are buying into the lie that we have to work for our worth and that, if we just try harder, we’ll feel like we’re enough. These insecurities don’t come from God. When we focus on ourselves and our failures, mistakes, appearance, and schedules, our enemy knows that we’re not looking outward and upward. In our self-absorption, we don’t see those around us, and we don’t see the God in us. Instead, we see our little and their much, and believe we’re coming up short in all the ways.

Our self-focus short-circuits our ability to serve those in need and to love, enjoy, and serve God.

When we wonder what we have to offer, we become fearful that maybe we really do lack talent, a calling, leadership qualities, a tender heart, or even time for coffee. We fear rejection, connecting, and revealing parts of us that we’d prefer to keep tucked away. We fear that, once someone gets to know us, they’ll learn that we have nothing to offer. At the root of all this fear is a failure to trust that God will provide and that He knows what we need.

And oh, how quickly the enemy turns our self-focus and fear into discouragement. In our discouragement, we become numb and isolated from our emotions, others, and God. We feel doomed to travel a road where we watch other people do great things, lead, mother or serve better, and have bigger and better redemption stories. Discouragement comes when our enemy whispers we’re not enough to do good things or be a good wife or mom or hostess, and we let that settle into our heart.

Our enemy wants us wrapped up in us, fearful and discouraged, but God wants us remembering Him.

Instead of being caught up in ourselves, let’s remember that He is Immanuel, God With Us. Yes, Achiever friend, we aren’t enough, but God is enough for us. Jesus came so that we would be enough with Him. As Jennie Allen writes in Nothing to Prove,

“Because Jesus is enough, we can rest.
Because Jesus is enough, we can trade fear for hope.
Because Jesus is enough, we can embrace grace.
Because Jesus is enough, we can live out our true calling.”

Jesus gave us the gift of His Holy Spirit who lives in us, and in whom we are sealed. Jesus is with you and He is enough.

Instead of being held captive by doubts and fears, let’s remember that God placed us where we are. Where we’re living, what we’re doing, and who’s in our family are not accidental occurrences, but providential graces.

My mind thinks of Esther who was an ethnic and religious minority, an orphan, a harem-member turned queen, and a woman living in a male-dominated society. If there was ever a woman who felt like she had nothing to offer, it must have been Esther. And yet, it was Esther who saved her people from genocide and was told “…for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

Friend, do not negate that you are where you are for such a time as this: a time to host the bible study with grace, a time to lead the meeting by faith, a time to drive the carpool with love, a time to encourage the teacher with hope. Let’s not pretend we are powerless when we are filled up with the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. Let’s not underestimate the gifts and talents God has given us. Our world and God’s kingdom are enriched when we serve with passion and faith where God has placed us.

Instead of being discouraged that there’s nothing we can do or change, let’s remember that God called us to do good. I challenge each of us to take back our calling, our design, and our uniqueness from the grips of discouragement. It’s time to live out what God has put in us without fear and with mistakes, without apology and with obedience, and without people-pleasing and with joy. With risk, hope, patience and endurance. With the belief that God designed us, wired us, placed us, and is with us for a very specific purpose: so that we can love and glorify Him and love others.

The glory of God is a human being fully alive. Go do what He’s pre-determined for you to do. He died to give you freedom from fear. He wants you living life with a light, untroubled heart. The work He’s invited you to do is exactly suited to you, and it will bring about His purpose in the world.

Achiever friend, this is a no-fail, all-win situation.

We may not wear sashes, but we’re still seeking something that tells us we’re enough. Let’s forget our never-enough-ness and remember that we’re enough because Jesus is enough, that we’re placed where we are for such a time as this, and that we’re called to do good by the One who designed us. We have nothing to fear and everything to offer, and it’s time to live like that’s true.