INSIDE: Being a mom is hard. Read on for four reasons that motherhood might be hard for you and where God meets you in the struggle.

Being a mom is hard for me. When I played with dolls as a little girl, I wouldn’t pretend to be their mommy. Instead, I would place them in a circle, teach lessons, and give them a grade in the grade book my mother bought at the local teacher supply store. So naturally, as an adult, my happy place was in a boardroom giving presentations, writing press releases and filling spreadsheets with metrics.

Motherhood was never in my comfort zone.

And yet, nine years into our marriage and nineteen months apart, Ryan and I welcomed two amazing girls into our family. I was officially a mother, but my Achieving nature didn’t go anywhere.

Being a mom is hard, given my high-achieving ways.

Motherhood is hard because it seems to require all the skills I lack. You know, like patience, kindness, gentleness, and wisdom. Mothering to me is like accounting to an interpretive dance major—they just don’t fit. Nurturing doesn’t come as naturally as productivity does, but motherhood isn’t about productivity.

It’s not easy for me to lack the skills necessary to be good at such an important role.

Motherhood is hard because it’s the ultimate act of service, and this Achiever is selfish in a deep way. When I have an agenda, temper tantrums don’t factor in, and yet, here we are. As mothers, we get less sleep than we need, we drive all over town, and we watch the movie we don’t want to watch (again) for the people we love. Mothers continually put others ahead of self.

It’s not easy for me to put others first.

Motherhood is hard because there are no metrics involved. When I worked outside the home, metrics validated that I was good at my job. As a mom, the feedback I receive depends on the mood of my constituents: breakfast was terrible, I cut the sandwich wrong, etc. In motherhood, there aren’t metrics, only emotional feedback that varies from “You’re the best mom ever” to “Why can’t I find another family?”

It’s not easy for me to not know where I stand.

Motherhood is hard because it all seems so gray. Yes, there are absolutes and best practices in parenting just like there are in every other industry. However, my demographics keep changing. Different stages and personalities require different tactics, timing, discipline, and boundaries. As soon as I figure it out, ages and stages change. All I want is a good “if this, then that” statement that works in every situation.

It’s not easy for me when things aren’t black and white.

And yet, when being a mom is hard, God meets me right where I am.

My mothering woes remind me of the story of Moses in the book of Exodus. Moses had plenty of objections when God commanded him to set His people free, and his objections sound like my own.

Who am I? When Moses asked God this question, He didn’t answer it. Instead, He promised Moses, “I’m here.”

In the same way, when we articulate how unworthy we feel, God promises to be with us. He partners with us in our strength and fills the gaps of our weaknesses. It doesn’t matter how we feel, the point is not our worthiness but that God is doing the work in us and through us.

Who are You? God answered Moses with the one of the greatest revelations of Himself: God shared His name: I AM.

We doubt God’s wisdom when we wonder why He would give us these precious children, the ones we think someone else could raise better. Make no mistake—God knew what He was doing when He gave our children to us. God knows our past, our family, our personality, and our financial situation, and He gave us our children anyway. He invites us to tasks beyond our natural ability because they aren’t beyond His.

I’m not _____. To this God answers with a very clear, “Look, Moses, I’m responsible for making you the way you are. And I don’t make mistakes. Besides, I am with you!”

We claim our deficiencies, but God finds our inadequacy irrelevant. God is in charge of our future and our children’s future. He alone is responsible for outcomes. I can talk all day about how I’m not a Good Mom, but that’s not what this is about. My life and my mothering are about God, who helps me parent and teaches me what to do.

I never pretended to be a mom as a kid, but it’s a role that I take seriously as an adult. When I stop making motherhood about me, the skills I lack, and my value, it becomes the perfect refiner’s fire. God is with me, and He chose me to do this work. It’ll never be easy, but it gets easier when I remember God is present.

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