What God says about your messy past

Our past is a tricky thing: while it shapes us, it cannot fully define us. Our past may be full of beautiful memories as well as sins that sicken us. I do not presume to be God, but His Word is clear on shame, guilt, freedom, life, and His never-running-out love for us. This is a letter written to you from God’s perspective based on His truth to remind us that we are not our past mistakes.

To the woman who feels wrapped up in the shame of her past,

I see you and know your every hidden hurt. I know the shame that you carry because of the choices you’ve made, the past that won’t let go. The past that involves events and decisions that you’d prefer to keep tucked away: the terminated pregnancy, how you sought love and acceptance in hurtful ways, how you raised a child before you knew me so you grieve when you read “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

No matter what: I love you. I know that truth seems impossible to believe because you’ve constructed layers to protect and preserve your heart. I know that you guard yourself so that nothing can find its way in, not even the unconditional love and forgiveness I offer. But I need you to know that you are my masterpiece.

Some days you don’t feel like a masterpiece when all you can remember is how you’ve messed up. You believe your mistakes are irreconcilable and that you’ve let me down…again. You believe you’re ruining, or have already ruined, what I’ve given you—the kids, the marriage, the work.

May I sit with you for a minute and share some grace and truth as you process your past full of hurt and failure?

You are fully known.

I know, I know, you want to be hidden away or at least have your mess tucked away. But I see it, and I see you, and it doesn’t change the fact that I love you. What it does is this: I acknowledge your sin and then I sent my Son to die to save you from the punishment for it. You don’t have to hide from me because the penalty has already been paid. Yes, there may be earthly consequences, but My love is constant and with you through it all. You cannot outrun me. You cannot outsin Me. I’m here for the long haul.

Your actions don’t negate My plans.

My upside-kingdom is not a world of quid pro quo. I don’t work in karma, but in mysterious ways. You believe that if you’d done it all just right, never made those mistakes that life would be just how you thought it would go. But here’s the truth: I don’t always give you what you deserve, which is both wonderful and frustrating. But it should be freeing because it means that life, blessings, and favor aren’t dependent on your good works.

I’m in control, and I work all things for your good and My glory. Remember that my Spirit blows where it will. I’m not capricious; I am holy. My will is free to cast blessings, to discipline, to shelter, to encourage, and to speak truth.

Here’s the truth you’re most in need of now: I am sovereign. Nothing you can do – or have done – can change the plans that I have for you, your children, your spouse, or your career. Your life is unwreckable because my love for you is unstoppable.

You are not responsible for outcomes.

The outcomes of your children, your work, and your safety are all up to me. I see you working so hard, thinking that if you just had the right combination of steps, you could make right all of your wrongs. Do you not know? Have you not heard? I am in the redeeming and restoration business.

I create beauty from ashes, not perfection. There is no brokenness that I cannot fix, no heart I cannot heal, no sickness I cannot cure, and no death that I cannot bring to life. My Son came to earth so that you could come to Me and live a life of wholeness. I’ll give you rest, and as you rest, I’ll go to work making all things fit together like you’ve never dreamed.

I am responsible for outcomes. You are responsible for obedience.

Your shame is not God-sent.

My message to you isn’t, and never will be, “Shame on you.” In fact, my message to you is “Shame off of you and onto me.” When Jesus died on the cross, He “endured the cross, disregarding the shame…” (Hebrews 12:2) My Son completely obliterated shame.

In my economy, I use conviction, which targets a specific sin. Shame is a general feeling that is heavy and ill-fitting, one you’re not designed to carry. Shame was nailed to the cross, but it keeps trying to sneak back in. When you feel shame prowling around, tell it to go away. Do not open your door—shame only stays where it’s welcome.

When your enemy whispers that nothing can be changed, that you’ll always suffer from this sin, or that you need to do more, tell your enemy that your God is a restorer and a renovator…and renovators demolish attacks like shame, guilt, and despair.

I love you so much. Your past does not define you. My love defines you. Your position as a woman after my own heart defines you. Hold tightly to My hand for it is mighty to save and has your name written on it (Isaiah 49:16).

The One who knows you best and loves you most,
Your Redeemer God

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