Take a minute to imagine this with me…
You have two kids, and you want to make their Christmas magical. You hatch the best plan, 25 days of Christmas, that includes an activity, craft, or treat each day. You’re excited to create Christmas traditions and make memories.
In walks reality.
A few days in, your people show signs of fatigue. No one appreciates your planning and unwavering loyalty to 25 consecutive days of activity. You’re determined to carry out what you organized while your people are over stimulated and overtired.
Blergh.
This was Team McCormick’s situation a few years ago, and since then, we’ve struggled with setting unrealistic expectations over the holiday season—and we’re not alone.
As women and moms with good intentions and nothing but love for our people, we’re prone to make three mistakes as we plan for the holidays.
1. We don’t grasp our reality.
As moms, we want to make holidays magical. We know how important childhood traditions are, and we want to get it “right.” Without any sort of filter or guiding principles, we want to do all the things, like advent calendars, devotionals, and a tree decorating marathon.
Our first mistake is trying to do it all because we think everyone else is.
2. We feel responsible for everyone’s happiness.
During the holidays, we feel responsible to make sure that everyone is happy by making sure the food is good, the presents are on point, and the parties are perfectly themed. If someone seems disappointed in our decisions, our pie, or our boundaries, we feel responsible.
Our second mistake is giving in to our over-developed sense of responsibility and not allowing others to take ownership of their own reactions.
3. We don’t adjust to the rhythms of a new season.
When holidays approach, we know that things will get wonky with less sleep, more sugar, and infinite togetherness. And yet, we believe that our normal routine still applies. Despite the chaos swirling around us, we feel compelled to get all our work done while the house stays as clean as ever.
Our third mistake is our refusal to recognize our limitations and adjust to our new pace.
Friends, these three mistakes stem from a good place: a desire to create a wonderful holiday season for the people we love the most.
We want our holidays full of tinsel and sparkle and sweetness and twinkling lights, which is why we run around town for gifts and decorations, say “yes” to every invitation, and bake until we never want to see Pinterest again.
But God wants to gently remind us this season that He is no taskmaster.
He’ll never lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on us because He doesn’t want us enslaved by expectations, “shoulds,” or misplaced responsibilities. If our to-do lists are bullying us around, then our pace, stress, and holiday ideals are not from Him.
Instead, God gives us the gift of free and light living.
To live this life, we simply need to course correct our three mistakes with three remedies.
1. Let’s grasp our reality by adjusting our expectations.
Are you worn out by your current pace and the expectations you’re trying to meet? If so, what feels heavy? Is it something you can adjust in the smallest of ways to feel lighter?
For example, instead of 25 days of Christmas “fun,” go for 12…or keep the 25 days with lower-maintenance activities.
2. Let’s release our need to make everyone happy and allow others to take ownership of their feelings.
Are you tired of trying to please every family member, including your own children? Let’s recover your life by evaluating where you feel responsible for the feelings of others. Also, take time to decide if your holiday activities and pace serve you well.
For example, if you’re trying to keep everyone happy by attending two Thanksgiving dinners and traveling hundreds of miles, assess if that’s a fit for your family right now. If yes, awesome. If not, it’s okay to let it go. It’s not rude to be firm and assert what’s in the best interest of your people.
3. Let’s adjust to the pace a new season brings by weaving in self-care.
Expecting that you can maintain your normal productivity levels when life is louder, faster, and more sugar-fied isn’t helpful to your heart. Where can you build margin in this season? How can you extend yourself grace? If you’re ready for some grace in printable format, go here to subscribe and receive the exclusively-designed print just for you! Subscribers, this has already been delivered to your inbox. Woo hoo!
For example, can you work ahead and take time off while the kids are home? Or, if you need alone time to recuperate, say no to an invitation or pop in a movie for the kids and do whatever makes your heart come alive.
We don’t have to make these mistakes every year.
Take a minute to imagine this with me…
You have two kids, and you want to make their Christmas magical. So you hatch the best plan to do activities that make them happy, embrace your family values, and indulge in the things that are light and gentle with your heart and calendar.
In walks joy.
A few days in, your people are still happy. Everyone appreciates your planning and unwavering loyalty to caring for them and yourself. You’re locked in to grasping your reality, not being overly responsible, and adjusting to the rhythms a new season brings.
Hallelujah!
Pin for later:
So good, Jill! Holidays can be hard on families if we don’t keep tuned in to God and one another. Here’s to less stress and more joy this holiday season!
Jody, Amen! It’s so easy to be carried away with all the good and fun and sparkly things to do and make. But this can lead us to stress and snippiness. (Or maybe that’s just me!) Thank you for reminding us that less stress and more joy is the way to go! -jill
Jill – Just this morning I realized, with judgment in my thoughts, “it’s November 15th and we haven’t written a single thing of thanks on a carefully crafted fall leave to be displayed on an equally crafty thankfulness tree, or table cloth or other “Pinterest Must Do”. And then I thought, that’s okay, because I believe that my family and I are doing well and showing gratitude – and more importantly connecting with God – in other ways that work. Two years ago, Pinterest worthy thanksgiving traditions fit well in my life, but this year, they just don’t… and that’s okay! Thanks for confirmation of that!
Ginger, YES!!! Oh how I love this! You’re fostering the spirit you want (thankfulness) without feeling the pressure to make it look a certain way (Pinterest). AWESOME! -jill