In the 1980’s, “choose-your-own-adventure” books were very popular. As a kid, I read quite a few of these books… and I hated them. I found them tedious because I never knew what page to turn to, and I hated that there was more than one way to read the story. I wanted there to be a right way. As Achievers, we just want to get it right.
But what does “getting it right” even mean?
For the Achiever, “getting” is the efficient, effective path we use to get to where we want, to achieve our goal. “It” can be anything: life, our career, our education, our parenting, our kids, our marriage. “Right” is the rules that we use to measure ourselves and others.
Why is getting it right so important to us? I think there are three reasons.
- Identity. Achievers like to be viewed as the strong, capable, go-to people in any situation. The flip side of this coin is that being wrong is devastating. If we believe we are capable and competent then go and blow it, we question our identity. To an Achiever, being wrong is an existential crisis
- Time. Achievers tend to be busy people because we like doing all the things. We don’t have time to waste. Achievers prefer to know the best practice, execute it, and then move on to the 67th thing on the to-do list.
- Security. When Achievers know the right thing to do, it makes us feel like we’re in control. We love a world of no surprises and no change… unless it’s one we initiate.
According to Curt Thompson’s book, Anatomy of the Soul, this desire “to be right, to be rationally orderly and correct, subtly but effectively prevents us from the experience of being known, of loving and being loved.” In other words, my insatiable need to get it right means that I’m missing out on relationship not just with others, but with Jesus.
In Matthew 18:21–22, Jesus’ disciples were trying to figure out the right number of times to forgive someone, and they generously concluded that seven times was the right answer. Jesus turned their answer on its head and said it was more like 77.
In our right-now lives, much like the disciples, we try to get it right by quantifying, calculating, and check-listing. But there’s really only one thing we need to get right, and that is accepting Jesus as our Savior so that we can have a relationship with Him. That’s it. After that, He’ll direct us on the “right” way to live through His Word and His Holy Spirit.
But sometimes when our greatest desire is to get it right, we miss the forest for the trees.
Jesus said this Himself in John 5:39–40, “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.”
Are you missing the Jesus forest for the information trees? Are you missing out on relationships because you just desperately want to get it right? Are you so concentrated on everything going just how you planned that you don’t even see Him standing there in front of you?
Jesus is waiting for us, and I don’t want my concern about getting things right to prevent me from knowing Him and being known by Him.
But Achiever friend, let’s not beat ourselves up for our penchant for missing the forest for the trees. Let’s see ourselves as who we are in God’s eyes. You are a child who is wholly loved and cherished by her Daddy. He is delighted to be with you today, right this very minute. He is calming you down and telling your brain to rest in His love. He is so overjoyed about you, He is actually singing.
The reality is that my life is a choose-your-own-adventure story. And even though I choose which way to go, when I’m holding His hand, I can trust that my adventure will be good. It might not be perfect, Jill-planned, or smooth, but it will be good.
So Achievers, embrace the idea that
Jesus may take you to places you didn’t think you would be, with people you didn’t think you’d need, to do work you didn’t think you’d be doing.
The life He has for you is part of your choose-your-own-adventure story. Don’t miss it! Go Rogue from getting it right and move toward a whole-hearted relationship with Him.
This was almost too difficult to read because I could relate too much. Acieving, Being right, and rule following are right up there with my favorite things. However it is so true that they can get in the way of my relatioship with Jesus.
A few years back I had to throw those 3 things I held dearly away and start over with a new way of life. The new way is so much more rewarding.
I totally understand. But God loves you such a crazy amount. No matter what.