Grace says you can try + fail

While Ryan presented at a conference for work, I explored the Las Vegas Strip. For breakfast, I stopped at the Aria for their all-you-can-eat goodness. At $39, the price was high so I decided to get my money’s worth. Y’all, I sat there for three hours and ate and ate and ate until my stomach felt like it might burst.

I wanted all that buffet could offer. I didn’t want to leave until I consumed every ounce of value from Aria’s culinary team.

And friend, the desire I felt to eat my money’s worth from that buffet is how I want you to feel about experiencing grace. I want you to soak up all grace offers you, all the riches and goodness grace extends, and all the joy, delight, and hope grace brings to the table of your life.

For the next several weeks, you and I will plunge into all the ways grace can transform your life so you can experience and apply grace in your real life. If you have an easier time extending grace to others and a harder time accepting God’s grace for yourself, this post is for you.

So what is grace?

We throw the idea of grace around without defining and understanding what it is and how it impacts our right-now lives.

What is grace exactly?

Grace is the lovingkindness and favor of God that doesn’t excuse or condone your sin, but hammered it to the cross of Christ so you bear it no more. Grace is a gift that understands your humanity and comes alongside you to work on your behalf.

God freely and wholeheartedly gives grace so you can receive it. As author Richard J. Foster said in Celebration of Discipline, “Grace is free, but it is not cheap.”

Grace knows your name.

Grace never asks you to be superhuman.

Grace never expects you to be who you are not.

Grace is amazing, free, inexhaustible, and ready to come home to your heart.

As a culture, we have a few misconceptions about grace. We may believe that because we have grace, we have license to sin. Not true (Romans 6:1–2). We may also believe that accepting grace means we’re lazy because we’re not working, earning, and hustling. Also, not true (Ephesians 2:8–9).

What does grace allow?

Grace allows you to:

• try and fail,
• let go of shame and blame,
• stop comparing,
• connect with others,
• to not hold it all together,
• and feel what you need to feel.

Throughout the next several weeks, you and I will learn about the tenets of grace together. Today, we’ll break down how grace allows you to try and fail.

Grace allows you to try and fail.

God in His grace gives you permission (and even anticipates) that you will fail. Why? Because you’re human, you’re imperfect, and you have a limited capacity. Yet, you and I have a hard time trying new activities without executing them perfectly, and being ok with failure is simply not done.

Lie #1: When you do something, it must be done perfectly … or at least how you envisioned it.

Not knowing how to do something “the right way” and with excellence means you never try anything new. Your enemy shouts that it’s far better to do nothing than to do something imperfectly. Better to avoid than to “fail” and look like an idiot.

You and I have a low tolerance for mistakes and human error. When you try something, you can’t stand it if you don’t know all the answers (although, how could you?!?!) or when you drop the ball because you’re trying to do All The Things.

Lie #2: Failure is unacceptable because it attacks who you think you are.

You define failure as an inability to meet expectations. Not meeting expectations (your expectations or those of others) is inexcusable because it undermines your identity as someone who is put-together, competent, high-achieving, peace-making, etc. You wonder who you are if you can’t meet expectations or if you don’t know all the answers. Who are you really if you aren’t shiny and all-together?

You find failure unacceptable. When you fail at something, you begin to believe lies about yourself, like you’re The Worst.

But grace says …

Grace says that God simply wants you to trust and obey Him. 

You, my sweet friend, aren’t responsible for holding it all together. God is with you and for you. He wants you to trust that He’ll love and protect you wherever He leads. God doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but He wants you to know Perfect.

God has a zero-tolerance policy for sin because He is holy and cannot be in the presence of sin, and yet when He separates you from your sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). He clothes you not in filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), but in the righteousness purchased with the blood of His Son (Isaiah 61:10).

Grace says you don’t have to be perfect at all the things you try, and you’re allowed to fail.

Grace says that God defines failure differently than you do.

God’s definition of failure is not our definition. God doesn’t quantify failure as getting fired, closing your business, not doing everything you think a “Good Mom” does, or not reaching a goal. In fact, all the ways you see failure are all the ways God uses to conform you more and more into the image of His Son.

God defines success as being in a relationship with Him, knowing Him, and loving Him. But that doesn’t feel like enough?

Being known and loved by God, and knowing and loving God in return seems like a consolation prize. But they’re not. Knowing God and loving God are the ultimate success.

But how do you know this is true? How do we know grace says you’re allowed to try and fail?

Simply open the pages of the Bible and look for God’s character and how He reacts to others who have tried and failed. (We’re looking at you King David!) Through God’s Word, you see He is merciful and never punishes those who fail, sin or make mistakes when they turn back to Him in repentance.

How you view God impacts how you much you believe the truth that you’re allowed to try and fail. If you believe God is a perfectionist, you’ll assume He wants you to live perfectly. If you believe God is a taskmaster who abhors mistakes, you’ll live in fear of Him. If you believe God isn’t powerful enough to overcome or work through or in your mistakes, you’ll stay stuck and never try.

God would not need to be a teacher, redeemer, refuge, helper, or sustainer if you were designed to have it all together (Psalm 25:12, Isaiah 44:6, Psalm 62:8, John 14:26, Psalm 3:5).

Try-Hard Girl, you can experience and apply grace in your real life.

I ate my money’s worth out of that Las Vegas buffet and now I want you to soak up as much knowledge and experience about grace as you can. God’s grace never runs out. It never fails. It is always available to you. Today, receive God’s grace by knowing you can try and fail and His love for you is always available. His love is not dependent on whether you live perfectly, follow all the rules, or always bring home success.

Grace says you can try and fail.

Practically apply grace today allowing your fears of imperfection and failure to remind you to pray.

When you feel the pressure to do live, parent, or work perfectly, and when you tell yourself you are not allowed to fail, pray this simple prayer,

“God, You allow me to try and fail because Your grace covers all of my sins and mistakes. Help me to believe this is true and to act in a way that reflects that truth. When I get scared that my plan, day, or people will not go how I thought and when I get anxious that I’ll drop the ball, remind me that You are before me, behind me, beside me, and within me. You’ve got this and You’ve got me. Amen.”

Go in grace and peace knowing that you will try and fail at something today and God stands in your corner, working and willing all things to His good purpose (Philippians 2:13).

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