You are a daughter of the Heavenly Father, who has children of her own, and you often feel frustrated and overwhelmed by all the ways you’re messing up. Here are five truths you need to know today about you, “Good Mom,” and God’s grace.
While I do not presume to be God, I do know what His word says. Here’s a letter from Him to you.
Dear daughter of mine,
I see you.
I see you working hard, managing logistics, guiding, and protecting. I see you, and I love you like crazy.
Right now, sit together with Me because I want to share truths with your fragile heart, truths you need to hear.
I want you to know you’re a good mom.
In fact, you’re a very good mom. I’ve called My people “very good” since “in the beginning.” And you are no different.
It’s true. Yet you answer back, “But I just…” as you list your sins.
I already know.
But don’t you remember these sins are forgiven? That they were nailed to the tree and you bear them no more? This includes the guilt. When you ask Me for forgiveness, I am faithful and just to forgive you. Now turn and go in a different direction.
However, you have created a new law, the one you call “Good Mom,” the one you feel pressured to fulfill. The law of Good Mom seems to be a narrowly-defined enigma that has all the talents and skills you lack.
- Good Mom is a crafty creative when you don’t know how to thread a needle.
- Good Mom serves organic vegetables that bring her praise from her children when you go through the drive-through…again.
- Good Mom plays Barbie and Legos for countless hours when you’d rather work on a spreadsheet.
- Good Mom is always upbeat, patient, available to meet needs, and she’s never tired when you feel crabby and frustrated.
- Good Mom has children who always obey, make good grades, and exhibit perfect table manners in public when your kids, well, don’t.
I didn’t create the law of Good Mom.
Instead, it brings Me glory when you’re the person I created you to be, to use your gifts and talents to love on your kids and to live in and stand on grace.
My word doesn’t give too many prescriptive instructions on exactly how to parent, which gives you the freedom to be who you are and to raise your kids in an individualized way. I am the God of expanse and infinite options of goodness.
Here’s how I know you’re a very good mom: you love your children, and you parent by faith. If you feel like you’re lacking, simply cry out, “Jesus. Help!” I’m here.
I want you to know you’re not perfect.
You’re striving to parent perfectly because you love your children, take this role seriously, and know how much is at stake.
But some of this striving comes from fear.
You fear that you’re not spending enough time with your children, that you’re not feeding them the right things, or that you’re letting the TV raise them. You worry that they’re starting to copy all the things you don’t like about yourself.
You fear you’re not good enough.
Who said you had to be enough? I alone am good, and I alone am enough. When you accept this, you stop trying to prove yourself…doesn’t that sound like freedom? When you accept your weakness, I am your strength. Let your weakness be an alarm in your soul to remind you to talk to Me.
You fear that you have to hold it together.
You’re the one who plans meals, knows the schedule, and stays up waiting for the curfew to come. What would it look like if you dropped the ball?
Here’s the deal: you’re going to drop the ball. At some point, you’ll forget to pick up a kid somewhere. You’ll send him to school without lunch. You’ll give bad advice. You’ll lose your temper. And My grace redeems it all.
You fear falling apart.
But I didn’t design you to be perfect and to hold it all together. I created you to be dependent, to obey, and to trust Me. I am the only One who holds all things together.
You fear getting it wrong.
Some of the striving comes from your belief that you’re responsible for figuring all this out. You read every book, listen to every podcast, talk to every friend, and yet, you feel completely stumped on what to do and how to handle things. You’re playing mommy-whack-a-mole, and you’re exhausted.
Daughter of the King, remember that I am the One who dreamed up the idea of parenting and created you to be your child’s parent. Do you think I will leave you on your own? You aren’t alone—I will equip you with what you need. Call His name when you need help, and I will answer.
My beloved daughter, parenting is not, has never been, and will never be about you having it all together, the success of your kids, or fulfilling the law of Good Mom.
Parenting is how I further your sanctification.
Motherhood is a divine opportunity for Me to come alongside you, to love you, and for you to turn to Me because you feel so utterly not-enough.
Hear Me: You’re a very good mom.
Love,
Your Heavenly Father
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This is so good Jill! It touches every shortcoming I feel! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Jasmine. God is so good and He’s just crazy about us being who He designed us to be! – jill
Wow! This post brought me to tears and gave me chills! This was a on time Word for me! Thank you for sharing this with moms!
Thank you Carmen. I cried when I wrote it. It’s just so hard to believe that it could be true. But God’s love for us is real and never-ending. Our parenting doesn’t depend on us, but on Who He is! – jill
Great post, Jill! God would say that to us.
I know I have been a good mom but it still hurts as I have not heard from my son in over two years. We are five provinces apart and I haven’t seen him in four years. So I put him in a box and leave him there otherwise I’d be a basket case. The tears are coming now so I better cut this short.
Great post. Love your writing.
Thank you for sharing heaven’s perspective to us!
Oh friend. I am so sorry. The choices of our children impact the hearts of the parents. And this goes for God too.
Dear Heavenly Father, we ask that Cindy’s son return to her. We know that You can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. Reunite them. We love you, and we know you love us too. Amen. – jill
Thanks, I needed that, especially today, while trying to be the Good Nanna!
Oh yes!!! We really do want to be so good because we love our kids/grandkids so much. And in our quest to get it right, we forget that God covers and redeems all things. – jill
Jill, thank you for writing this. It was a beautiful reminder of Faith.
Thank you Byrdie for reading. God is just crazy about us, isn’t He?!?! -jill
Literally read it with tears streaming down my face! THANK YOU for this!
Natasha, If it makes you feel better, I wrote it with tears streaming down my face. God loves us like crazy, He pursues us with goodness and kindness, and He meets us where we feel the most fragile. I get it sister. And He does too. – jill
Wow! This was so on point for me. My three children are all grown. I have told each of them a few times, “I wish I could have been a better mom.” They have all said ” mom you are a good mom.” It was nice to hear them say that but sadly inside I wasn’t convinced. Today I have that freedom you speak of Jill.
Thanks for sharing
Natalie, I 100% get that. We always think that there’s something more we could have done or said. And in some ways, that may be true. But I firmly believe that Jesus fills in all those gaps with His grace, in ways that we simply don’t understand and may never see. – jill
Love love love this! Thank you for these reminders ❤️
Christina, I’m so glad that you enjoyed. It’s so easy to think that we’re supposed to be perfect, but how much easier to be dependent?!? -jill
I needed this 50 years ago! Thankful you’ve followed God’s plan for your life and are sharing with others. Blessings.
Shirley, Thank you for your kind words! I know that you were – and are – a great mom! -jill
Wow, So Perfect. I have been dealing with a lot of How to be a better Mom and if I was doing good enough or not and if it 2as my way or Gods way. This Brought much tears to my eyes bc of the Heaviness in my Heart, been in much Prayer and fasting for several months now bc I need breakthrough in my marriage and Children. Thank you so much for the Encouragement and it’s great to see every woman deal with this at some point in Life
Mackie – Please give yourself much grace knowing that you are not alone and that God is crazy about you. He knows your heart and your struggles. He is with you every step of the way. He uses our challenges to bring us closer to Him. Remember that God’s baseline for you is love! – jill
Tears- check
Perfect timing- check
Heart pulled- check
Finally, sat down tonight to put my little to sleep and clicked on your post. I sometimes think I can do it alone, until not so shiny moments (which are daily)…there were your words right there…crystal clear reminding me…he is with me. Thank you, Jill!
Becky, We are not alone! God is with us always and forever. So glad that God’s truth met you right where you are! -jill