Episode #41: How to give grace when people’s post-election reactions are unkind and hurtful

How can we respond as grace-givers and Christ-followers when we experience unkind, hurtful, and shocking interactions with friends and family about the election? What do we do when people’s reactions to the election drive are exasperating and exhausting?

In this episode, we will:

Process what you’re feeling and experiencing
Decide what to do next. (I share some do’s and don’ts, and not one idea is cliche. Promise!)

So if you’re wondering how to give grace when you feel bullied, exhausted, and over it, listen in.

Let’s process what you’re feeling right now

Your feelings shouldn’t be in charge, but it’s not healthy for you if they are ignored, numbed, or judged. You feel what you feel. This is an objective truth. No one can — or should — argue you out of whatever is going on in your heart right now.

So what do we do with all these emotions?

We do what is written in Psalm 42:4-6: we pour out our hearts to God. But what exactly does that look like in real life?

It means — in Jill Langauge — to vent everything you’re experiencing to God Himself. Sharing every hurt, wound, and traumatic interaction with God is how we get healing and wholeness.

Others are experiencing the same heartache and hurt you are

Y’all, people are scared. Worried. Nervous. They believe they are 100% right and simultaneously powerless, so they explain and justify their rightness through words. Deep down, people believe their anger can somehow protect their hearts from further attacks. The best defense is a good offense, right?

So as much grace as you want for yourself, remember the “other side” needs grace, compassion, and understanding just as much as we do.

So what do we do? What are some next steps we can take in grace, love, and compassion?

Start by taking these six steps.

Do the hard work of love. (Dr. Lucretia Berry)
Put on the armor of God.
Be careful about what assumptions you make.
Be confident in the object of your faith.
Know what hills to die on.
Embrace the power of “and.”

I recommend opting out of these three mindsets:

Do not give up who you are or sacrifice your values to keep the peace.
Do not be shocked when people act like people.
Do not believe that all Christians vote the same way.

Here are 10 questions to think about as you conduct your own State of the Union:

What about how another person voted unsettles me?
How can my unsettledness reveal the assumptions I’m making about that person, the future, and God’s sovereign plan?
Is it possible that because of where I live, my education, socioeconomic status, life experience, or race there are some dynamics and perspectives I can’t see?
Am I willing to engage a person of a different political party with the desire to seek first to understand then be understood? Why or why not?
Do I view this time as “us vs. them”?
Does my view align with God’s view?
Does the content I consume perpetuate this view of “us vs. them”?
Should I take a break from the news or social media if I begin to view others as adversaries?
Do I pray for “my side to win” or do I pray for God’s will to be done for all — even those people who are nothing like me?
How am I putting my hands and feet where my vote is? For example, if you voted for a candidate because she is pro-life, how much time are you spending volunteering or supporting a pro-life organization?

Key Quotes

If you’re experiencing weakness, heartache, hurt, anger, frustration, your Jesus felt it first, and He modeled for you how to respond to it.
We can rest that Jesus will make all things right in the end, and we can act now by doing what is best, next.
Loving others right now looks like showing up for the people in your life who you don’t agree with politically.
The more we attack others, the happier our enemy gets. Let’s make him really unhappy by being unified.
Remember that none of us is the sum total of our political choices or voting record.
Don’t buy into the lie that if you believe in this then you automatically hate or don’t care about that.
Do not be offended or surprised when people act like the wounded, frustrated, broken people they are.
Be the first grace-giver that person who drives you crazy has ever experienced.