I’m not one who likes to be scared. Being frightened isn’t my thing, but living a life of fear? Well, I keep signing up for that.
The truth is that I worry a lot and live with a chronic case of low-grade anxiety. It wasn’t until I discovered the Enneagram, an ancient personality typing system designed to help people understand who they are and what makes them tick, that I understood what I feared deep in my core, how it drove my behavior, and what spiritual disciplines could help me slowly shed what I worry about the most.
If you’ve got some worries and fears in your life, find out your Enneagram type first then read this post. You’ll learn what you fear, why you fear it, how worry manifests itself in your everyday life, and God-centered habits for shedding that fear.
You can also grab this free resource about what the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and what you want to know about your personality type. Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram walks you through how to determine your type, what’s up with wings, and Enneagram resources you’ll want to check out.
Please know that I’m not an Enneagram expert, merely a lover of it. What I present to you is based on my own research from books like The Road Back to You + The Sacred Enneagram, websites like The Enneagram Institute and Your Enneagram Coach, feedback from fellow worriers, and peer review from people of each type. (The FCC requires that I tell you that I’m an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don’t worry there’s no added cost to you!)
What Type Eights Fear: Your underlying fear is being hurt or controlled. From this root, spring fears of betrayal, rejection, vulnerability, clingy people, sharing your needs and connecting with others. Deep down, you simply want the relational confidence that you can trust and be trusted.
Why You Fear: Type Eights often believe the lie that you are what you do. Somewhere along the way, you picked up the message that the world is a tough place where only the strong survive. You decided to be one of those survivors so you fear anything that prevents you from being in charge.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you push your body to exhaustion. You also want to be in charge. You can come across as aggressive, assertive, rude, and intense. Type 8s may also create drama and thus lose their emotional connections with others.
How to Help Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that God provides for every need and every person, this includes you.
2. Practice stillness. Being still allows you the opportunity to identify less with what you do and more of who you are in Christ. It gives you to be vulnerable with God about your struggles and weaknesses.
3. Help others even when you fear rejection, being used, or connecting with others on a deeper level. As Carrie Kintz says, “Wisely pushing ourselves in this area goes a long way toward helping us learn to trust, not only between us and the Lord but with others as well.”
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Eight? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Eights and reviewers of this portion: Carrie Kintz and Jessica Herberger.
What Type Nines Fear: Your underlying fear is being separated from others. From this root, spring fears of loss, unresolved conflict, relational tension, expressing your own ideas/dreams/opinions, and saying “no.” Deep down, you simply want to feel wholly at peace.
Why You Fear: Type Nines often believe the lie that you are what you do, and what you do is keep everything swimming along. Somewhere along the way, you picked up the message that your wants, opinions, needs, and dreams don’t matter.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you are the most likely of all the types to self-forget: you “forget” your own priorities, thoughts, and goals. You may disengage from people and your emotions instead of participating or engaging in confrontation and conversation. It’s also hard for you to get started on projects because you’re deflecting your own priorities and get distracted by whatever comes up at the moment. You can be passive-aggressive, ambivalent, and have trouble making decisions. Type 9s want to believe that all is well, and as a result, you may end up engaging in numbing behaviors like getting really busy/distracted or binge-watching Netflix or withdrawing from others.
How to Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that God sees you, and your life very much matters to Him. He placed you here for a reason and He can’t wait to see how you’ll bring glory to His kingdom.
2. Practice stillness. This discipline allows you to be present to God and to learn how to show up when you’d rather opt-out. Bring all you avoid into the presence of Christ and ask Him to reveal to you how aware He is of you.
3. Find an app or organizational system that allows you to stay on task. It’s easy to be pulled multiple directions as a peacemaker. A good task-management system will help you stay focused on what you need to do today and what your life-long priorities and goals are, without the influence of the requests of others.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Nine? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Nines and reviewers of this portion: Jenn Collins, Linda Berkery, and Jenny Cross.
What Type Ones Fear: Your underlying fear is imperfection. From this root, spring fears of being accused, misinterpreted, corrected, blamed, and not meeting others’ expectations. It also worries you if your physical space is messy, if expectations are unclear, and if there’s a lack of quality in any area. Deep down, you simply want to be good and balanced.
Why You Fear: Somewhere along the way you picked up the message that you must be better than you are. You’re an idealist at heart so you believe that anything that’s flawed can, and should, be fixed, including you.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: More than any other type, your inner critic won’t be quiet about all you’ve done wrong or how you should defend yourself because you’re right. You may become angry with yourself, others, or an imperfect situation. Type Ones may grow resentful and exhausted because you’re trying to fix things and others don’t recognize or appreciate what you’re doing.
How to Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember the truth that you are loved exactly for who you are, as you are, right this very minute. God is absolutely crazy about you, and no condemnation is found in Christ!
2. Practice stillness. Stillness will help you loosen your grip on doing so you can simply be with God. This practice will help you let go of your addiction to be doing something good or making yourself better. Resting in stillness gives you permission to take a break from all of the inner frustration, exhaustion, and resentment. It may feel impossible, but the freedom found in stillness will liberate your soul.
3. Play! It’s okay to not always be a responsible adult. Seriously. Go have some fun sweet friend!
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type One? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Ones and reviewers of this portion: Sarah Geringer and Megan Ericson.
What Type Twos Fear: Your underlying fear is being unloved or unwanted by others. From this root, spring fears of relational tension, confrontation, and disappointing others. Saying “no” to someone or being rejected are two things you absolutely hate. Deep down, you simply want to be loved.
Why You Fear: Type Twos often believe the lie that says you aren’t “enough” and that the only way to win love is to hide who you are, causing you to work to prove that you’re worthy of love and never share what’s going on inside. You may have picked up a message throughout your life that naming your needs could lead to rejection so you’d rather stay focused on the needs of others so everyone can stay happy.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you lavishly say “yes” so boundary setting is hard for you. You may also find yourself unable to focus until any relational tension is resolved. Type 2s find the topic of “needs” a bit tricky: you may believe your needs don’t matter OR you may feel shame that you have needs OR you may become resentful that even when you recognize your needs, you don’t have anyone to share them with. You may also unknowingly manipulate others out of a desire to feel useful, loved, and needed. As a Type Two, you may look for others to define who you are instead of allowing God to define that for you.
How to Help Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that you are so loved by God no matter how much or how little you serve or do today.
2. Practice solitude. When you practice being alone, you connect with what’s going on in your own heart and learn to rest in who you most fully are. You also understand that it’s totally okay to be alone. Solitude can teach you how to be present with no string attached – no compulsion to do and no subconscious expectation for something in return.
3. Name one need you have and share it with a safe, trustworthy, God-centered person, like your spouse, best friend, pastor, or counselor. As you feel comfortable and safe, share another need.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Two? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Twos and reviewers of this portion: Lindsay White, Lea Turner, and Heather Lobe.
What Type Threes Fear: Your underlying fear is not being valued. From this root, spring fears of being underachieving + unproductive and not making progress toward a goal or not meeting your metrics. Deep down, you simply want to be valuable.
Why You Fear: Type Threes believe the lie that says you have value because of what you do and how much attention you receive. You fear anything that causes you to feel worthless, which might be as simple as not checking everything off the to-do list.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, two habits creep in:
1. You become hyper-busy, doing anything and everything – even projects that don’t interest you- that might bring you achievement and recognition. You’ve adapted your life to meet the expectations of others, which can be exhausting. You also spend time curating your image to look like you’ve got it all together. While you are busy doing All The Things, you’re also willing to quit projects that you’re not good at because those “failures” hurt your image.
2. You stuff down your feelings to soldier on and get things done. You often say you’ll deal with your feelings later, but you never do.
How to Help Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that you are loved by God just for who you are, that God is just crazy about you, and made an incredibly talented and kind person when He made you.
2. Practice solitude. In solitude, you’ll learn that you don’t have to prove your value or perform for God. Being alone in the presence of fo Christ will help you to trust that because God is near, grace is always available.
3. Spend time thinking about what you want and who Christ created you to be. This will free you from chasing after positions and opportunities that aren’t meant for you. It also gives you the chance to work on the work He has called you to with all the enthusiasm you bring to every other aspect of your life.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Three? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Threes and reviewers of this portion: Kelly Streiff and Dakota Rice.
What Type Fours Fear: Your underlying fear is being abandoned by God and others because you really are “too much.” From this root, spring fears of being misunderstood, dismissed, stereotyped, and blending in. Deep down, you simply want to be understood and loved for the individual you are.
Why You Fear: Type Fours feel like something is missing and there’s underlying angst about what that could be. You may have heard the message from childhood that there was something off about you, that you didn’t really belong.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fears, Type Fours may feel like you feel too much, such as your frustration because of your idealism, angst about what could be, or envy about the deep + interesting inner lives of others. You may get stuck in your melancholy as well. You may turn passive-aggressive or manipulative to sustain relationships. Type Fours may also feel shame as you compare yourself to others and declare yourself lacking.
How to Help Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that you are fully known and fully loved by God for who you are. God sees your heart + all your emotions and has tucked your identity in Him.
2. Practice solitude. Being alone will help you dial back your emotional energy. It will give you rest from your inner turmoil and a much-needed break from your compulsion to be seen.
3. Take a few minutes to express appreciation for what’s unique in those around you instead of focusing on what’s missing in your own self.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Four? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Fours and reviewers of this portion: Carrie Beth Davis and Katie Jo Ramsey.
What Type Fives Fear: Your underlying fear that you won’t be able to function successfully in the world. From this root, spring fears of being helpless, incapable, not having all the information, and feeling out-of-control of your circumstances. Deep down, you simply want to be capable and competent.
Why You Fear: Type Fives often believe the lie that your worth is tied to your performance, specifically in having the right answers for every situation. This wrong belief may be rooted in negative messages heard from a parent or teacher, who said that you don’t have what it takes to be successful or that you aren’t good enough to warrant praise or love. (Written by Donya Dunlap)
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you withdraw from others so you can observe your environment and retreat into your own mind where you feel more capable. Emotionally, you withhold your energy, become angry at interruptions, and deflect your own needs. You may also analyze e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
How to Help Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that God is your shepherd so you always have everything you need. You lack nothing because Christ is in you.
2. Sit in silence. Being quiet brings clarity to your overactive mind, which is constantly on the prowl for solutions. The silence helps you let go of your compulsion of demanding answers and obsessively searching for more information.
3. Join a small group to practice so you can connect with others and share some of yourself.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Five? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Fives and reviewers of this portion: Sharon Osterhoudt and Donya Dunlap.
What Type Sixes Fear: Your bottom line fear is that everything will go wrong. From this root, spring fears of trusting others and not having guidance or support. Deep down, you want security.
Why You Fear: Type Sixes crave security, support, and reassurance, therefore fear arises when these things are lacking. In the unpredictable and uncontrollable nature of life, your inner doomsday committee spins out worst-case scenarios for you all day long. This committee makes you doubt yourself and fear picking the wrong next step. (Written by Kira Bridges)
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you worry a lot and tend to make a Plan A then Plans B-Z just in case. You often feed distracted as your brain works overtime to find solutions. Your type seeks control and can overthink situations.
How to Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember that you are safe because there is nothing that can separate you from God’s love: not death or life, not angels or demons, not the present or the future, not any powers, not height or depth, nor anything else in all creation!
2. Practice silence. When you are literally silent (no podcasts, webinars, music allowed!), you’ll be able to hear God whisper how much He loves and cares for you. In silence, you’ll hear the truth about who you are and how God provides for you. It brings clarity to your hunt for assurance and quiets your churning thoughts. To silence that inner committee, tell your thoughts you’ll come back to them later, but that you can’t talk to them right now.
3. Journal. Journal out your fears and worries and offer them to God. Your words will serve as a testimony to God’s faithfulness and love for you.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Six? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Sixes and reviewers of this portion: Lauren Burk Miller and Kira Bridges.
What Type Sevens Fear: Your underlying fear is pain. From this root, spring fears of not having options, missing out on new experiences and people, not getting to do All The Things, getting trapped by routine when you want the freedom for fun, and standing up for yourself and your needs. Deep down, you simply want to be content and happy.
Why You Fear: Somewhere along the way, you heard (or experienced) the message that you are on your own, that no one was available or willing to help you.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you’re constantly busy, which makes you tired. You’ll put up with the exhaustion that comes from doing All The Things because that seems more palatable to you than experiencing the pain and ache inside. You may also not follow through on commitments because you don’t want to be pinned down. However, at the other extreme, you may excessively plan to ensure there’s always a fun experience right around the corner.
How to Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember the truth that when God says He’ll take care of you, He means it. What is true is that you are not alone or on your own because you have a powerful Dad who loves you and thinks the world of you.
2. Practice silence. The silence gives you rest from the mental activity of thinking about the future. It offers a break from the pressure to keep moving forward and the compulsion to live distracted. Turn off the noise so you can hear God whisper that His plans for you are good and He won’t let you miss any good thing.
3. Because you simultaneously don’t want to miss out AND you don’t like being pulled in too many directions, ask yourself this question like my friend Heather Kristine does, “If I only had one egg, which basket would it put it in?” This helps to focus your energy on the most important thing when not wanting to miss out anything is driving you to try and do everything.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Seven? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Sevens and reviewers of this portion: Heather Kristine and Taylor Phillips.
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personality types fascinate me. I actually don’t know what number I am, but now I want to find out for sure! 🙂 I can relate to more than one of these fears…
Joella, personality types are super fascinating!!! When you find out your Enneagram type, please report back! -jill
Ohhhh this is so good! I’m going to share with a few friends who are fellow Enneagrammers. 😉 Thanks for this insight, from a 9! 🙂
Evelyn, thanks so much for sharing! The Enneagram is so insightful and I’m so grateful for how God wired us all differently and how He helps out of each and every fear! -jill
Thank you so much for sharing. Great way to look at what we’re fearful of and how to break free.