Sevens, your superpower is detecting the fun, joy, and whimsy and chasing after it. You’re the most energetic of all nine Enneagram Types.
Your one powerful underlying motivation is your desire to experience joy and have freedom in order to out-busy any painful, heavy feelings you don’t want to process.
When you are healthy and whole, you reflect God’s joy.
You can also grab this free resource about what the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and what you want to know about your personality type. Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram walks you through how to determine your type, what’s up with wings, and Enneagram resources you’ll want to check out.
Please know that I’m not an Enneagram expert, merely a lover of it. What I present to you is based on my own research, feedback from men and women of each type, and peer review. If you learn better through audio, take a listen to this Grace In Real Life podcast episode with Enneagram Seven Dorina Gilmore.
All Things Seven
Here’s the basic foundation you need to understand about yourself or about the Sevens in your life. In this post, we cover what arouses anger in a Seven, books for spiritual growth, what causes you stress at Christmas, your biggest fear, gift ideas, goal-setting, parenting, and what the pandemic of 2020 has been like for you.
What Sevens believe
You believe it’s better to choose happiness than experience sad feelings because a painful experience could be more than you can bear. You also believe you can bring to life what you imagine.
Where Sevens struggle
Sevens, because you love to chase the joy, it’s hard to embrace the routine and mundane realities of daily life. You also struggle with processing difficult emotions, making deep relationships (although you have quite a few friends and acquaintances), and maintaining focus and self-discipline.
Type Sevens get angry when they believe others have overstepped their bounds, leaving you without ownership, authority, or options in a situation. Whether it’s overhearing a rude comment, being disliked for no reason, or being told that you “must” do something, you can’t stand it when you’re told what to do without any opportunity to defend yourself.
Type Sevens are the most sensitive to having limited options, having mandates placed on their time, and offers of unsolicited advice that they “should” take. A fellow Type Seven Amy Tack Andre gets angry when she feels “…boxed in, or like I have to do something! I have to have an ‘escape route’ most of the time.”
Your type reflects God’s abundance, and for you “abundance” equals “having options.” Limited choices and a lack of alternatives can lead to anger.
What’s behind your anger
Because Type Sevens are in the Head Center, you’re concerned with having and maintaining safety and security. Your first reaction isn’t anger. Instead, your primary emotion is fear.
Your biggest fear is being trapped in pain. To avoid caught in your hurt, you want to have choices, do All The Things, and have freedom. Deep down, you simply want to be content and joyful, living life to the fullest.
How you express your anger
Unlike many types, Type Sevens are very likely to directly express (not suppress) their anger. Occasionally, your anger “pops up” out of nowhere, and just as suddenly, you’re ready to move on. However, those who experienced your anger may not get over it as quickly. Your anger manifests itself as well-articulated debate, assertiveness, crying, impatience, impulsivity, and saying words you may regret.
How to process your anger in a God-centered way
1. Breathe slowly and pray before expressing your anger, even if it’s a few simple words like “Jesus help me.”
2. Your type is especially sensitive to having limits or boundaries placed on you. Spend time in silence with God to ask Him if limits are actually His way of protecting you so you don’t burn out. Ask Him to reveal what He may be teaching you through this time of limited authority.
3. Find a safe person who will help you process all those feelings inside.
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Seven? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Sevens and reviewers of this portion: Jessica Dalton, J. Bethany Anderson, Dorina Gilmore, and Nina Hundley.
“Holy Hustle by Crystal Stine is the perfect fit for the Enneagram Seven. Laced throughout the book is the encouragement to slow down and appreciate the work God has given you, helping you realize that even when resting, you’re not missing out on anything. Stone closes the gap between the holy (resting in what God has called you to) and the hustle (working hard for the glory of God), and helps you find the balance of working hard and resting well.” – Taylor Phillips of lettheredeemedsay.wordpress.com
“For the Enneagram Seven who has trouble facing her own pain and has a tendency to numb her emotions, Heart Made Whole by Christa Black Gifford is a must-read. The author bravely tells the story of the loss of her baby at birth, and the healing journey God took her on to grieve the loss and make space to listen to her heart in God’s presence. We all face seasons of tragedy and loss, and for the Seven it’s crucial that she learn how to cope with pain in way that is healing instead of destructive.” – Jessica Dalton of Originality – The Personality Podcast
“As an Enneagram Seven, my natural reflex is to recoil from suffering and that which isn’t beautiful. Falling Free by Shannan Martin taught my eyes to seek out the beauty in the broken world. She and her family traded their picture-perfect farmhouse life to follow God’s call to downward mobility and love in the trenches. Her book inspired me to take risks and choose to fight for the beauty I want to see in the world by searching for God in the midst of the ordinary, the unlovely, and the hard.” – Heather Kristine of heatherkristine.com
Your goal for Christmas is to have as much fun as humanly possible doing All The Things.
How you came to that goal: As a Type Seven, you love having fun and spreading joy in all you do so Christmas can put you into overdrive. You can’t stand the idea of Christmas not being full of merriment and wonder every single second.
What happens when you work to reach your goal: As you strive for the most festive Christmas ever, you may leave yourself and others exhausted. If you’re not having a truly joyous Christmas, you may feel deprived, causing perfectionistic tendencies and a rare pessimism to come out. You may also be at risk for all-or-nothing thinking.
Three ways to have a healthy Christmas:
1. Ask your friend Jesus to show you what activities and the number of commitments are realistic for you and your family this season. He created you for joy and He won’t let you miss it. Trust that He’ll provide exactly what you need when you need it.
2. Remember to ask others what they’d like to do this season. It may not line-up with your long list of amazing activities, but it will lower the stress level in your house tremendously.
3. Enjoy the company of the people God has given you.
BONUS: Check out the book Holy Hustle by Crystal Stine.
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Seven? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Sevens and reviewers of this portion: Erin Camacho and Julie Holmquist.
What Type Sevens Fear: Your underlying fear is pain. From this root, spring fears of not having options, missing out on new experiences and people, not getting to do All The Things, getting trapped by routine when you want the freedom for fun, and standing up for yourself and your needs. Deep down, you simply want to be content and happy.
Why You Fear: Somewhere along the way, you heard (or experienced) the message that you are on your own, that no one was available or willing to help you.
How Your Fear Manifests Itself: Because of your fear, you’re constantly busy, which makes you tired. You’ll put up with the exhaustion that comes from doing All The Things because that seems more palatable to you than experiencing the pain and ache inside. You may also not follow through on commitments because you don’t want to be pinned down. However, at the other extreme, you may excessively plan to ensure there’s always a fun experience right around the corner.
How to Work Through the Fear:
1. Remember the truth that when God says He’ll take care of you, He means it. What is true is that you are not alone or on your own because you have a powerful Dad who loves you and thinks the world of you.
2. Practice silence. The silence gives you rest from the mental activity of thinking about the future. It offers a break from the pressure to keep moving forward and the compulsion to live distracted. Turn off the noise so you can hear God whisper that His plans for you are good and He won’t let you miss any good thing.
3. Because you simultaneously don’t want to miss out AND you don’t like being pulled in too many directions, ask yourself this question like my friend Heather Kristine does, “If I only had one egg, which basket would it put it in?” This helps to focus your energy on the most important thing when not wanting to miss out anything is driving you to try and do everything.
**Would you like a free printable of these three spiritual practices? Just go here.**
Want to read more truth by someone who’s also a Type Seven? Check out the sites of these fellow Type Sevens and reviewers of this portion: Heather Kristine and Taylor Phillips.
Gift Philosophy: Experiences! Experiences! Experiences!
No Enneagram type loves a shared experience as a gift more than a Seven.
As a gift-giver, you love finding that right, amazing gift, but you sometimes worry that others won’t like your gift. You also find shopping stressful.
As a gift-receiver, nothing makes your heart more happy than a quality experience with your people. You aren’t a fan (like most of us!) of any passive-aggressive gift designed to strengthen your “weaknesses,” as in a calendar to keep you more organized.
Gift ideas for every Enneagram Type Seven: “I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOU!”
More than any other type, Sevens want to spend time with their people doing fun things. You’d also prefer during that fun time together that no one would drag down the mood by complaining or whining. However, you can switch gears easily, wanting one gift one day and another — totally opposite — gift another day. This may drive the gift-getters in your life crazy.
Seven-approved gifts include:
- Plane tickets with three-hours’ notice for the fun vacation you planned for her
- A surprise trip to a museum, concert, or play
- An outing to the latest restaurant in town
- A gift card to the newest coffee shop with a note inviting your Seven along
- Movie tickets so you can go together
- An item that furthers an interest he has
No-No’s for those buying a Seven a gift:
- Passive-aggressive gifts like a planner for a Seven you believe is disorganized or a dish rack if the dishes always pile up. Focus on what your Seven enjoys not on what they lack.
- Practical items. Usable gifts don’t seem like a gift to your Seven. If he needs it, your Seven will buy it.
- Self-improvement gifts. Your Seven can smell the judgment and shame from a mile away.
Reviewed by Rachel Wortman.
How do you view goals? Enthusiasts are in favor of goals, but you may not label them as such. You’re more likely to be guided by your value system and your desired outcome than a checklist.
Do you set goals? You can take or leave goals, but you always, always know where you’re headed.
How do you accomplish your goals? Because you’re always ready for the next adventure, you accomplish goals easily so you can start the next one.
How do goals make you feel? If you set goals, they can cause you to feel hurried and hassled and never settled. You feel rushed because there’s always another goal out there to reach.
Healthy habits for the Enthusiast:
1. Break down your big goals into smaller units so they seem more manageable over time.
2. Be vigilant about staying present with each goal so that you’re not tempted to chase the next one.
3. Even if you don’t set goals or label your ideas as such, remember that you have principles and values that guide you well.
4. Celebrate small victories.
5. Remember that God will always take care of you.
A home-bound pandemic is the worst-case scenario for most Sevens. Where is the fun? How much more bored can you get? When can you see people again?
You’re coping by reframing the negative of the pandemic into positives: Look at all the new recipes I’m trying! I’ve always wanted to coordinated a Zoom happy hour and now I had a chance!
You also cope with the fear and stress of the pandemic by procrastinating on projects and chores in the pursuit of doing something more fun, a la baking and happy hours.
You love to brainstorm so you’ve come up with 12 new ways to have fun at home and you’re sharing them with all of us online.
(But let’s be honest: brainstorming them can be more fun than actually following through on them. Shopping for supplies for your backyard ballon-a-palooza is boring!)
Your imagination is in overdrive as you think of all the ways this pandemic could be really good in the long run and not as bad you as you imagine.
This time also provides an opportunity for you to grow when you realize you are fun all on your own. And your people are pretty awesome too! You may come to find that routines and rhythms aren’t as restricting as you initially thought and that you can do this. That this is hard and painful, but it hasn’t killed you yet.
Graciously reviewed by Mabry Gardner, Michelle Shaw, and Shelley Harrington.
Sevens are all about imagination, hope, freedom, and joy. Sevens win the “Most Energetic on the Enneagram” award. You have friends galore. We just love hanging out with you … when we can get on your calendar and confirm your commitment. Sevens love busyness, which has as much to do with your need to chase joy as it does your drive to avoid pain.
Where You Shine in Parenting
As a mama, you love planning fun adventures for your kids. You instill in your children a sense of whimsy and joy. More than any other type, you remember what it’s like to be a kid. You are kind, silly, and creatively think up ways to increase the fun.
Where You Struggle in Parenting
Because you seek to avoid pain, you choose to go on adventures and stay busy. Your stamina probably outpaces your child’s endurance. Your kids may also find you unavailable to talk to because you like to go-go-go! Setting boundaries feels uncomfortable because you never want to see your kids hurt or disappointed. Also, the daily rhythm of housework, school, and kid routines may just drive you to overwhelm, which can morph into Angry Mom.
Healthy Habits
- Sweet Seven Mama, you love chasing the joy, but do you realize that fullness of joy is found in God’s presence (Psalm 16:11)?
- Take some time to reflect on your schedule. What are your current commitments? Are these activities life-giving to all the different personality types in your family? What can you cut out?
- Ask God to help you find joy in the mundane because joy exists in Christ’s presence, and He is everywhere!
Books for the Seven Mama
- Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
- Confident Moms, Confident Daughters by Maria Furlough
