Whether you lived through Snowmageddon 2021, walked through a recent trial, experienced an upended life — even if for a short while, and felt so shaken you held onto anything stable, this episode is for you.
In Episode #56, we’re talking about how to extend grace to yourself and others when you’re living through and cleaning up the aftermath of a crisis. In this episode, you’ll take stock of your mental health and learn three ways to extend grace to yourself, plus I share a bonus way to give grace to your kids!
Let’s take stock of your mental health
Let’s make peace with the fact that you are and were and may continue to be under a tremendous amount of stress.
Your brain may feel foggy. You may not be able to muster enough brain space to think more than 24 hours in the future. Your heart may feel the hurt of the consistent, vice-like pressure of the last 12 months.
To you, I say: Of course, you’re worn out and stressed. You’re doing a great job. You’ve lived through a crisis on top of a crisis, and there’s only so much even the toughest try-hard girl can take before she crumbles.
It’s okay to fall apart. Just know, you’re not gonna stay there, because Jesus has good plans for you.
Here are 5 easy-peasy ways to give yourself grace as you walk through an acutely stressful time:
One: Don’t diminish your hardship by saying “It could be worse.”
So often when we go through hard times, we think of all those who experience harder times or live in more extreme circumstances. You and I relegate our pain as unimportant or not a big deal, by saying phrases like, “It could be worse…” or “I’m just so thankful that at least…”
Two: Remember when life gets crazy, you don’t have to maintain your same productivity level.
Grace says when life gets crazy you don’t have to keep up. You can live this minute, clinging to the hand of God and do what He asks you to do next.
Three: Don’t beat yourself about how you felt or what you did (or didn’t do) during your time of hardship.
Do not beat yourself up that you found suffering hard.Do not tell yourself you’re a terrible Christian if you only prayed sporadically — or not at all. Even a weak faith is held in the almighty, unshakable hands of Jesus. God is faithful when you are faithless. God is not ignorant of your circumstances, and He knows your heart.
Four: Ask for forgiveness.
Anxiety is all-encompassing right now. If you haven’t lost it with your husband, kids, the dog, or your power company, you just might in the upcoming weeks. Forgiveness is a three-for-one gift:
- God grants you forgiveness when you sin
- You can ask for forgiveness when you mess up with your people
- You can offer forgiveness when your people mess up, even if they don’t ask to be forgiven.
Finally, Five: Turn over every feeling to God.
Acknowledge every one of those emotions and bring them to Jesus. As my writer friend Sarah Westfall said in Episode 38, emotions are the language of the soul. They are God’s way to get your attention, to point out what’s important to you, and to give you another reason to talk to Him.
BONUS: How to give your kids grace in a crisis: Ask your kids how they’re doing.
Here are questions I’m asking our girls: What do you need from me? How can you help someone else today? How can you be kind to yourself right now? Have you talked to your friends recently?
Our kids don’t have the grown-up stress we’re experiencing, but snowstorms and a lack of routine impact them too. They don’t have the language to process it, so let’s help them by listening.
Key Quotes
- It’s okay to fall apart. Just know, you’re not gonna stay there, because Jesus has good plans for you.
- Grace makes a way for multiple emotions at the same time without a need to justify any of them.
- Release yourself from any guilt, knowing your God is perfectly aware of your situation and is using it to grow your faith.
- God says your sin is not greater than His grace.
- 95% of grace is listening; listening to your heart and those around you.
- God longs to comfort you. He is with you in the room right now. He is your hope.
Previous Episodes Mentioned
- Episode 38: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Four with Sarah E. Westfall
- Episode 43: How to navigate the tension between grief and gratitude
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