#181: Grace Over Fear: Why is it hard to be vulnerable? with Jamie Ivey

INSIDE: Why is it hard to be vulnerable? What are the characteristics of a safe person? If you fear being vulnerable but want to try, listen to Jamie Ivey.

Being vulnerable with safe people in the midst of your mess is a sacred space. Saying “I’m struggling too” is a saint’s cry.

Wherever you struggle today, Whether it’s struggling with sin and temptation, a hard season in your marriage, or doubting God’s goodness and sovereignty in the midst of a cancer diagnosis, God longs for you to tell Him about it – to be vulnerable with Him and to share it with a sister in Christ.

But many of us – for very valid reasons – are skittish and reticent to be vulnerable.

I can think of no one better to cheer us on toward vulnerability than today’s guest, Jamie Ivey.

In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths to answer the question, “Why is it hard to be vulnerable?”. You’ll learn:

why we don’t want to be vulnerable,
six characteristics of a safe person,
what to do when you suffer from a vulnerability hangover,
and three questions to ask when you’re ready to be vulnerable.

Why is it hard to be vulnerable?

We fear vulnerability for these two reasons:

If people only knew my baggage.
I’ve been hurt in the past.

Why we don’t want to be vulnerable

We believe that lie that we don’t need to share because our sin isn’t that big of a deal.
We don’t want to be told to stop.
We believe that no one will understand.

Six characteristics of safe people

Mutual respect
Mutual vulnerability
No attitude of shock around sin
Hold space
Loves Jesus
Wants you to pursue Jesus, too

Three questions to ask when you’re ready to be vulnerable

How are you being vulnerable with God about this?
Who can I talk with?
Do I have struggle buddies or people pointing me to Jesus?

How to be a safe person for others

Don’t solve your friend’s problems.
Listen.
Point her to Jesus at an appropriate moment.
Offer grace.
Follow up.

Questions to ask a struggling friend

What do you need from me?
How can I hold you accountable in this?

Why is it hard to be vulnerable? Quotes

“Satan loves for us to be quiet and to self-protect.” – Jamie Ivey
“Sometimes our vulnerability does bring consequences, and it has to bring change.” – Jamie Ivey
“When we’re looking for people to be vulnerable with, what we want to know is: Are you still going to love me? Are you going to leave me? Are you going to believe me?” – Jamie Ivey
“A safe person is not going to have this attitude of shock by our sin, issue, problem, or circumstance.” – Jamie Ivey
“She’s not coming to me for answers. She’s coming to me for connection.” – Jamie Ivey
“If a friend was willing to bring you into some hard times or hardships, I think the least we can do is be willing to continue to check in on them.” – Jamie Ivey
“Vulnerability for connection; vulnerability for healing; vulnerability for getting closer to the Lord, this is what we’re after.” – Jamie Ivey
“The reason you’re vulnerable is because the Lord prompted you to do that.” – Jamie Ivey
“We are not responsible for the PR of God.” – Jamie Ivey
“I think we steal a little bit of glory from God when we aren’t willing to let people see the way He’s working in our life.” – Jamie Ivey
“Praise God my friend invited me into her mess because I love God more now.” – Jamie Ivey
“There is healing in the light.” – Jamie Ivey

Mentioned in the podcast

The FCC requires that I tell you that I’m an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don’t worry there’s no added cost to you!