#107: Skill Set: Practicing vulnerability in a world that tells you to power through with Nicole Zasowski

We try-hard girls are notorious for sacrificing our emotions on the altar of performance and productivity. We don’t have to look very far to see examples of powering through and soldiering on in order to get the job done.

Try-hard girls have an inexplicable need to be perceived as strong. Showing any feeling seems to signal weakness in our armor, leaving us feeling vulnerable.

Vulnerability is to be avoided at all costs.

Yet we know this isn’t right: that our relationships and hearts are paying the price of our avoidance. But we don’t know how to NOT carry on.

Here to offer us hope and help is today’s guest Nicole Zasowski.

This episode is the sixth installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.

Key Quotes

“Vulnerability is showing up as I am where I am and being willing to be seen and known in that place.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“There’s a difference between feelings being real and feelings being true.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Pain comes from two different directions: It attacks our sense of identity, or it attacks our sense of safety.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“We cannot speak to what we will not name.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“The purpose of naming those feelings is not so that we stay stuck in them. It’s actually an essential first step to move through them.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Vulnerability is best served with boundaries.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Thanksgiving is our way of celebrating the gift with the Giver.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Be vulnerable with your joy.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Celebrating is the most natural response to God’s movement in our lives.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Testimony of the victory God has shown in our lives are very important stories to tell.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Amidst a painful, painful world, God is on the move and doing good things.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski
“Other people’s behavior is about their pain and not about your value.” – LMFT and author Nicole Zasowski

Mentioned in the Podcast

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Nicole Zasowski’s What If It’s Wonderful?
Nicole Zasowski’s From Lost to Found
Nicole Zasowski’s What If? Journal

About Nicole Zasowski

Nicole Zasowski is a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of From Lost to Found and her new book, What If It’s Wonderful?

As an old soul who wears her heart proudly on her sleeve, she enjoys writing and speaking on topics that merge her professional knowledge, faith, and personal experience. Nicole lives in Connecticut with her husband and three young children.